the Archive

Singapore is known as a stopover for people doing business and tourists looking for a place to shop. This week it’s also known for my presence in it. Boom.

When I went through Customs I filled in my occupation as ‘vlogger’ and the guard winced as he stamped my passport. In hindsight I should have just filled in ‘loser’. I’m glad they let me in.

My first impression of Singapore is that it’s exactly how my parents would like me to keep my bedroom – clean and organized. This city has everything down pat. Trains run on time and if you drop rubbish on the floor you go to jail. Actually, I’m not sure about that rubbish part – it could be a clever rumour to scare tourists but if that’s what it takes to keep a place this clean, I’m all for it.

The one thing I was most excited about though was breakfast with the orangutans at Singapore Zoo. When they were like ‘Hey Natalie, would you like to have breakfast with an orangutan?’ I checked my bucket list and confirmed I would. Also, I hadn’t had a date in ages. The only problem was that when I got there, the bastard had invited about 40 other people to breakfast as well so it wasn’t a very intimate affair. In fact, to be frank, it was just awkward. If you think eating in front of other people as they watch you is horrible, try eating in front of orangutans who have been forced to sit on a log and watch you eat. It’s exactly as I just described it, an awkward affair.